Harry* and I worked side by side for over 15 years, and then the factory closed sending us into the world of unemployment. Years later I met Harry while waiting in my eye doctor’s office. He was still distraught about the factory closing. We talked about the years working side-by-side until my appointment, I never saw him again. Months later I read that he had taken his own life. Of course, there could be other circumstances surrounding his tragic choice, but his loss of a job had demoralized him. Could it be that what he did was more important to him than who he was? (*not his real name)
“If you are what you do when you don’t, you aren’t.” William J. Byron in Finding Work Without Losing Heart.
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Are you defined by what you do, or defined by the person you are?
Do not buy into the idea that what you do is of greater importance than who you are!
When I think of these two people my mind focuses more on who they are than on what they did:
Mother Teresa – She exhibited a heart of compassion.
Billie Graham – He defines integrity.
When I’m in a social gathering, I notice that when men initially meet each other the first question after getting each other’s names is; “what do you do for a living?” After that is defined, men can go on to favorite sport’s teams, politics, who they know, then maybe one will venture to ask; how’s your family?” Men peg each other first by what they do.
The question remains, not how do others define you but how do you view yourself?
We define ourselves more by our ‘NO’ than by our ‘YES’ in life.
In describing the life, you want to live, to what have you already said no?
I have said no to drinking acholic beverages, no to watching pornography, no to spending money foolishly, and a list of other things. In making these decisions, I have provided a boundary around my lifestyle giving me complete freedom to live a happy, fulfilled life.
It defines who I am to myself. I have peace of mind by saying no to a few things rather than yes to anything.
“A man’s heart is what he is.” R. B. Kuiper
“For as he thinks in his heart, so is he…” Proverbs 23:7a
Some retirees have the problem since no longer what they do matters much. Don’t let that be you.
Whatever age you may be, you can define yourself by being the person you attain to be. Not what others think of you.
Addressing three issues, I deal with in my retirement years.
First off, I look at my life as a book of having many chapters. When I finish one chapter of a book, I do not throw the book away, no, I turn the page revealing a new episode. So it is in life. Previous chapters record my history. A new chapter opens for me to experience. My life book purposely omits an index, and yours also does. I can address my past and current life’s successes and failures but it is not possible to index future events which will complete my life’s book.
Here are 3, of the many, issues I’m addressing in retirement.
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Number one: Reality!
Am I secure in my present state? Do I have an ongoing internal discussion with myself as to a personal truth? When I survey my Christian faith, is it vibrant? Is my physical body in the best of health? Am I satisfied with the state of my relationships, with my spouse, my children, my siblings and my friends? If I do not face my reality, it will slam me in my face someday.
John Townsend, in his book, ‘Leadership Beyond Reason,’ makes this statement:
“Reality happens, and it always wins.”
Consider this;
Face reality as it is, not as you, [I], wish it to be.” Peter Koestenbaum
Number two: Recognition!
I’m not talking about me gaining recognition.
Am I living with a sense of unending gratitude for what I have and for those who have poured into my life?
Does my behavior exhibit a genuine sense of gratitude?
Do I work on being a kind person?
I want to recognize the successes of others and grieve with their losses equally.
“The more you express gratitude for what you have the more you will have to express gratitude for.“ – Zig Ziglar
Number three: Respect!
Am I worthy of the respect given me?
Lately, what have I done that is deserving of respect?
Do I willingly offer verbal admiration to family members and friends for their achievements?
I’m sure I can give more ‘pats on the back’ for jobs well done.
The light in my soul shines brightest when I’m fully engaged in the present.
When I take the time to consider these three, then my steps are made secure.
reality
recognition
respect
Do you need more wisdom for your journey into and through retirement? Remembering these scriptures will help.
If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking. (James 1:5 NLT)
He grants a treasure of common sense to the honest. He is a shield to those who walk with integrity. (Proverbs 2:7 NLT)
I welcome your comments.
Let me know what you think about this subject.
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