Tag: golden years

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For better family conversations, do this

For better family conversations, do this even though siblings are not all on the same page. Get the family together for breakfast! 

Family breakfasts are one way, not the only way of how to have better family conversations.

Being on the same page is not the point, family ties matter more. 

For better family conversations the Armstrong’s took this approach.

Read on.

What makes excellent family time possible? Sibling synergy is helpful for this to happen. Here is my definition. It is the combined effort of two or more of us to produce something more significant in relationships than anyone of us could accomplish alone.

The back story of Armstrong’s monthly breakfast.

In 1989 my father died. The house got sold, and we seven siblings had no point of reference to assemble as a family. Our mother had passed away in 1965.

My father’s passing, although expected was a sad day for my family. In the sadness of that time, my brother, Joe proposed a tradition that would hold our family together. Joe, said since we have lost our central meeting place lets begin meeting on the first Saturday of each month for breakfast at a local restaurant. My brother, Joe and his wife recently moved to a retirement community in MA and is no longer able to meet with us here in Lancaster County, PA. But our family owes a debt of gratitude to Joe for putting our family on the correct path 30 years ago, thank you, brother Joe.

One of my favorite quotes from President Ronald Reagan.

“The family has always been the cornerstone of American society. Our families nurture, preserve, and pass on to each succeeding generation the values we share and cherish, values that are the foundation for our freedoms. In the family, we learn our first lessons of God and man, love and discipline, rights and responsibilities, human dignity and human frailty.”

Here it is, for better family conversations, do this – Having our breakfasts together is making better family conversations possible.

Continue reading; make no mistake, since we are not the perfect family, yet here is what we are doing. For better family conversations, do this, and ‘this is‘ what we are doing.

Since 1989 we have had breakfast together as a family, only missing one or two Saturdays due to weather conditions. At first, all seven of us and our spouses met, later joined by nephews, nieces and other family members. Over these years 3 of our brothers have passed away. We were together through the grieving times.

Good breakfast food and lots of talk around the table opens doors for fulfilling conversation.

Particular family time has built a cohesiveness to our family. Family time together does not mean we all agree on things, spiritually, politically, or how each of us raised our families. It has been an unspoken rule; we have never discussed the disappointments, misfortunes or miss-steps each family has experienced.
Most, if not all of us are born again Christians which points us in a positive, life-giving direction in discussions.

The Armstrong Breakfast

How to have better family conversations, do this.

Organizing a monthly breakfast might be difficult, but I assure you, the effort will be worth it. Let’s get together for breakfast. Eating together spurs good conversations, always has and always will.

As Nike says, ‘Just do it!’

Every first Saturday is a ‘hallmark day’ for us as a family. It continues to be a significant time bonding us together.

“God places the lonely in families; he sets the prisoners free and gives them joy. But he makes the rebellious live in a sun-scorched land.” Psalms 68:6

For more insight on this read my post, ‘Do we ever get to go home again’ here

Why not start a tradition in your family. If your family is scattered around the globe, be creative, find a way to stay connected with your siblings.

What keeps your family connected?

Just think about this; our lives pass too soon, so family ties do matter.

I’d love to receive your comments, questions or insights you have on this post. Please comment in the comment box provided.

I’d appreciate you passing this post on to others in your groups or on your social media pages.

Thank you,

Richard Armstrong

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3 Life lessons for Emotional Stability

3 Life Lessons for Emotional Stability

Can greater emotional stability in your life be achieved?
My 3 life lessons for emotional stability brought a greater focus on how I interact with my spouse, family, and friends.

I’m sure most of us desire stronger relationships with others; correct?

Improving stronger bonds with others begins with how we control our emotions. These three steps towards emotional stability provided a path for me to a more composed response when in troubled waters. I am sure it can do the same for you. There is an assessment tool I have used and it is free which provides a good overview of the five factors pointing to better emotional stability. Click here for the free online assessment for insight into the makeup of your personality. I desire to be of a sound mind, able to face adverse circumstances with my dignity in check.
You can read my last post on this subject here.

 

This post is a continuation of the eleven statements I wrote several years ago to improve my outlook on life.

Read on for my 3 life lessons for emotional stability that I continue to work out in my life.

6. Alternatives; which means that I should always be open to other choices. I will make better decisions when I do my research on what choice I should make in any given situation. I should not pretend to ‘know it all’ but be open to counsel.
7. Adjust to my present stresses
. When I’m in a stressful situation I must evaluate my habits, my attitude, and my behaviors, perhaps the pressure I’m feeling is self-inflicted.
8. Analyze by putting in careful thought
 before taking action. I should question if my thought patterns are determined by my upbringing, and by my social connections? Part of analyzing my current position understands past relationships may not play an important role where I am today.

It is so important to realize our emotions can be governed by keeping an open mind to different choices. Choosing to recognize where my stress originates and knowing the current season of life I now am living.

“Two natures beat within my breast. The one is foul; the one is blessed. The one I love, the one I hate. The one I feed will dominate.” Anonymous

john-mark-kuznietsov- Unsplash

The above quote and the scripture works in harmony to keep my emotions in check.
“A fool vents all his feelings, But a wise man holds them back.” (Proverbs 29:11 NKJV)

My quest continues for emotional stability even in adverse situations. How about you?

Did you find this article helpful? Please leave a comment in the comment box provided below.

Be sure to give your name and e-mail address in the opt-in box. That way you will not miss my next post.

Thank you,

Richard

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Three questions for Lifestyle improvement

 Three decisions I made for a better life.

We all want to live better. 

Am I correct in that assumption?

However, the thinking that occupies our mind is we cannot let go of the past. It is possible to release ourselves from the grip our history has on us. I looked at these three questions for lifestyle improvement, and I want you to know them. Making three choices for a positive turnaround freed me from my past mistakes. However, it continues as an intentional persistence on my part, but the journey produced a tremendously rewarding future. This life journey going from recent missteps into the present and to a brighter future was and is a spiritual and mental challenge for me. When I know what to do and do not do what I should do it puts me in a losing situation.

“Remember, it is sin to know what you ought to do and then not do it.’ James 4:17

I’m sure we all desire to go from drifting through life to a more fulfilling lifestyle, am I right on that?

Toa Heftibe – Unsplash

Then, stay with me on this, keep reading.

Three questions for Lifestyle improvement

A couple of years ago I wrote out eleven choices I wanted to incorporate into my life for growth. I made this list for myself because it is in these eleven areas I needed the most help. Today I am sharing the first three decisions I made for a better life. To know more about me, click here.

 “When you’re through changing, you’re through.”  Bruce Barth
I do not want to be through at this stage of my life, but a continual work in progress!

A look at the first three of my eleven decisions I made to improve my life.

 

1. Admit my mistakes

2. Accept reality as my friend     

Nathan Lemon – Unsplash

3. Acquire margin in my life

Here is more insight on each of my three questions for lifestyle improvement 

1.  Admit mistakes and correct as soon as reasonable. If not admitted, they will tie me to my past. I must take time to understand why I made mistakes, but I do not continue to live there. Not admitting errors might be a ‘man thing’ but should not be my excuse for admitting I am wrong.

2.  Accept reality as my friend. The sooner I realize where I am at this stage of life, the quicker my problem will be resolved.

“Face reality as it is, not as you wish it to be.” Peter Koestenbaum

3.  Acquiring margin in my life breathes freshness into each day. A book without margins is unreadable, so my existence without margin is unlivable. The margin I need is quiet time alone, money in the bank, time spent with my family and friends. There is a tendency to crowd my schedule with appointments and meetings, but I need some alone time. I’m not talking about ‘loneliness,’ no this is not idle time, but something very different and necessary for me to develop margin in my life. In Richard J. Foster’s book, ‘Celebration of Discipline,’ he writes; “Loneliness is inner emptiness, solitude in inner fulfillment.” It will be necessary for me to withdraw a few times a year to experience an inner peace that only solitude can deliver. 

My hope for anyone reading this is for you to enhance your insights about lifestyle improvements by me sharing the three questions I faced on my journey in life. I will share more from my eleven questions in posts to come.

Write a comment on this post. I’d love to hear from you. What have you discovered about moving into a different season of life? Write your questions; this will help me in determining future posts. Please sign up to keep receiving these posts. I’ll appreciate that very much.

Thank you,

Richard

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Choices made, make us!

Choices made, make us!

Life’s pleasures take second place behind securing your base. 

Do you have a secure foundation for your life, family, and finances? Remember, choices made, make us. Even small seemingly insignificant decisions eventually make us who we become in life. It is essential to secure our base; remember, choices made, make us.

Are you teetering on the brink of disaster in social relations, financial solvency, and marriage?

Mark Duffel – Unsplash

You must be wondering, what do I need to do.

Here’s the simple answer.

Focus on securing your base first. Do the necessary action first in all these areas to ensure your success.

What is the most crucial part of building a successful marriage? A successful single lifestyle? To make positive relationships with your family? Begin meeting your financial goals?

The choices we make, even the little ones, mold our future.

What do I mean by securing your base in all these areas?

‘Made choices, make us’, may be simple to understand but challenging to implement.

Stay with me here.

I’ll list a few of the simple to understand parts first; then I will briefly describe tools of implementation.

These four areas demand your attention for securing your base.

  • Marriage; consider words of affirmation, use politeness instead of abruptness in conversations.
  • Single lifestyle; practice thankfulness, focus on good hygiene, affirm friends often.
  • Family relationships; support ambitions of family members and congratulate each one for their achievements, Be kind to one another.
  • Meeting financial goals; spend less than you make, always save a portion of your weekly income, give some away.

“ what are you prepared to change to make it better?” – from Homer’s book, The Odyssey

Five questions for implementing a secure base in the above areas.

  1. Take a long hard look internally at yourself. Am I the kind of person I’d like the other person to be? The only person you can change is yourself.
  2. Do I love others more than myself? Is my focus always on me?
  3. Have I said these words to others today? “I love you” – “Thank you” – “You are welcome” – “What can I do for you today?” Simple words make an enormous impact!
  4. Practice gratitude for what you have. Eliminate lust for things. Control spending
  5. Pray more. Give the first part of your day to the scriptures. Pray out loud with your spouse or find a friend to pray over the phone with you.

You surely will need the wisdom to make the choices which will make you. The best starting point is the scriptures. Don’t hesitate, do not delay for surely God will answer the prayer of the one who asks Him.

If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking. James 1:5 

Kiwihug – Unsplash

Something we can all agree on is the following:

Change is inevitable, so why not be the one in charge of making the difference you want it to become?

It is your choice.

You become the end product of the choices you make. I encourage you to secure your base which will lead to more of life’s pleasures.

How is your journey going at the beginning of this year? Tell me about it. Leave a comment and be sure to sign up to continue receiving my posts.

Thank you,

Richard

Be sure to subscribe to wheelsaroundtown.com in the subscription form, that way you will not miss any of my posts. Please leave a comment or suggestion in the comment box. I want to hear your questions about making a firm foundation from which to live our lives. Your input is valuable to me. 

 

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What three issues I deal with in retirement?

Addressing three issues, I deal with in my retirement years.

First off, I look at my life as a  book of having many chapters. When I finish one chapter of a book, I do not throw the book away, no, I turn the page revealing a new episode. So it is in life. Previous chapters record my history. A new chapter opens for me to experience. My life book purposely omits an index, and yours also does. I can address my past and current life’s successes and failures but it is not possible to index future events which will complete my life’s book.

Here are 3, of the many, issues I’m addressing in retirement.

Unsplash-Ben White

Number one: Reality!

Am I secure in my present state? Do I have an ongoing internal discussion with myself as to a personal truth? When I survey my Christian faith, is it vibrant? Is my physical body in the best of health? Am I satisfied with the state of my relationships, with my spouse, my children, my siblings and my friends? If I do not face my reality, it will slam me in my face someday.

John Townsend, in his book, ‘Leadership Beyond Reason,’  makes this statement:

“Reality happens, and it always wins.”  

Consider this;

Face reality as it is, not as you, [I], wish it to be.” Peter Koestenbaum

Number two: Recognition!

I’m not talking about me gaining recognition.

Am I living with a sense of unending gratitude for what I have and for those who have poured into my life?

Does my behavior exhibit a genuine sense of gratitude?

Do I work on being a kind person?

I want to recognize the successes of others and grieve with their losses equally.  

“The more you express gratitude for what you have the more you will have to express gratitude for.“  – Zig Ziglar

Number three: Respect!

Am I worthy of the respect given me?

Lately, what have I done that is deserving of respect?

Do I willingly offer verbal admiration to family members and friends for their achievements? 

I’m sure I can give more ‘pats on the back’ for jobs well done.

The light in my soul shines brightest when I’m fully engaged in the present.

When I take the time to consider these three, then my steps are made secure.

  1. reality
  2. recognition 
  3. respect 

 

Do you need more wisdom for your journey into and through retirement? Remembering these scriptures will help.

If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking. (James 1:5 NLT)

He grants a treasure of common sense to the honest. He is a shield to those who walk with integrity. (Proverbs 2:7 NLT)

I welcome your comments.

Let me know what you think about this subject.

I always enjoy your comments.

Sign up to continue receiving richard-armstrong.com

Thanks, Richard

 

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Do We Ever Get To Go HOME?

Do we ever get to go HOME?

Home is more a time, rather than a place, I think.

Memories of the past

We cannot repeat the past.

You can never step into a river the same place you did before, simply because the water in the river keeps flowing.

Time indeed keeps marching on.

Where do we go; ‘home’?

The clock keeps ticking.

Minutes and seconds are irreplaceable. 

The years in our past are past.

As much as we try to rewrite history, the truth in history remains permanently etched in place.

Our past can haunt us or it can spur us to change.

We never become unhinged from the moments of our past. It is the fabric that makes up our history, who we were.

How we allow it to handle us, is what matters.

It has been said that a person’s history gives a good indication of a person’s future direction. Is this true? I think but not always!

Going “home again”

Chases up the memories of both the good times and not so good times in our past.

Brings to mind some moments that should remain buried. So are their regrets?

Regrets,

Yes, I have many.

What do we do with regrets?

Do we let them hang around our necks pulling us down into depression?

Can we “flip” them off as insignificant?

What is the purpose of regrets? 

Maybe it is a sign of a healthy mental attitude to harbor regrets.

Harboring regrets

Photo by Val Vesa on Unsplash

Brings to mind a flotilla of boats sitting quietly in the water waiting for someone to start their engines.       

Every now and then I “start the engine ” on one of my regrets.

Not good! 

The moments I regret are in my past and I do not have it in my power to change my past.

So, I have to let go of my regrets. Learn from them, never repeat doing what I have regretted.

Regrets have become part of the fabric of my past,

unfortunately, sown into my history, with the purpose of influencing me to make better choices going forward.

Do we ever get to go home again?

Yes!

Memories build the home we visit.

Home is a moment or moments in time, captured in pictures, etched in our memories but unavailable in the present.

So I make the most of this present time since this time will fill my memories in the future.

“…forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead” Phil. 3:13b

What are your fondest memories?

Do you ‘harbor’ regrets? Why?

Please leave a comment, let’s have a discussion.

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Wheels Around Town

Richard