Tag: choices

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Three questions for Lifestyle improvement

 Three decisions I made for a better life.

We all want to live better. 

Am I correct in that assumption?

However, the thinking that occupies our mind is we cannot let go of the past. It is possible to release ourselves from the grip our history has on us. I looked at these three questions for lifestyle improvement, and I want you to know them. Making three choices for a positive turnaround freed me from my past mistakes. However, it continues as an intentional persistence on my part, but the journey produced a tremendously rewarding future. This life journey going from recent missteps into the present and to a brighter future was and is a spiritual and mental challenge for me. When I know what to do and do not do what I should do it puts me in a losing situation.

“Remember, it is sin to know what you ought to do and then not do it.’ James 4:17

I’m sure we all desire to go from drifting through life to a more fulfilling lifestyle, am I right on that?

Toa Heftibe – Unsplash

Then, stay with me on this, keep reading.

Three questions for Lifestyle improvement

A couple of years ago I wrote out eleven choices I wanted to incorporate into my life for growth. I made this list for myself because it is in these eleven areas I needed the most help. Today I am sharing the first three decisions I made for a better life. To know more about me, click here.

 “When you’re through changing, you’re through.”  Bruce Barth
I do not want to be through at this stage of my life, but a continual work in progress!

A look at the first three of my eleven decisions I made to improve my life.

 

1. Admit my mistakes

2. Accept reality as my friend     

Nathan Lemon – Unsplash

3. Acquire margin in my life

Here is more insight on each of my three questions for lifestyle improvement 

1.  Admit mistakes and correct as soon as reasonable. If not admitted, they will tie me to my past. I must take time to understand why I made mistakes, but I do not continue to live there. Not admitting errors might be a ‘man thing’ but should not be my excuse for admitting I am wrong.

2.  Accept reality as my friend. The sooner I realize where I am at this stage of life, the quicker my problem will be resolved.

“Face reality as it is, not as you wish it to be.” Peter Koestenbaum

3.  Acquiring margin in my life breathes freshness into each day. A book without margins is unreadable, so my existence without margin is unlivable. The margin I need is quiet time alone, money in the bank, time spent with my family and friends. There is a tendency to crowd my schedule with appointments and meetings, but I need some alone time. I’m not talking about ‘loneliness,’ no this is not idle time, but something very different and necessary for me to develop margin in my life. In Richard J. Foster’s book, ‘Celebration of Discipline,’ he writes; “Loneliness is inner emptiness, solitude in inner fulfillment.” It will be necessary for me to withdraw a few times a year to experience an inner peace that only solitude can deliver. 

My hope for anyone reading this is for you to enhance your insights about lifestyle improvements by me sharing the three questions I faced on my journey in life. I will share more from my eleven questions in posts to come.

Write a comment on this post. I’d love to hear from you. What have you discovered about moving into a different season of life? Write your questions; this will help me in determining future posts. Please sign up to keep receiving these posts. I’ll appreciate that very much.

Thank you,

Richard

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Choices made, make us!

Choices made, make us!

Life’s pleasures take second place behind securing your base. 

Do you have a secure foundation for your life, family, and finances? Remember, choices made, make us. Even small seemingly insignificant decisions eventually make us who we become in life. It is essential to secure our base; remember, choices made, make us.

Are you teetering on the brink of disaster in social relations, financial solvency, and marriage?

Mark Duffel – Unsplash

You must be wondering, what do I need to do.

Here’s the simple answer.

Focus on securing your base first. Do the necessary action first in all these areas to ensure your success.

What is the most crucial part of building a successful marriage? A successful single lifestyle? To make positive relationships with your family? Begin meeting your financial goals?

The choices we make, even the little ones, mold our future.

What do I mean by securing your base in all these areas?

‘Made choices, make us’, may be simple to understand but challenging to implement.

Stay with me here.

I’ll list a few of the simple to understand parts first; then I will briefly describe tools of implementation.

These four areas demand your attention for securing your base.

  • Marriage; consider words of affirmation, use politeness instead of abruptness in conversations.
  • Single lifestyle; practice thankfulness, focus on good hygiene, affirm friends often.
  • Family relationships; support ambitions of family members and congratulate each one for their achievements, Be kind to one another.
  • Meeting financial goals; spend less than you make, always save a portion of your weekly income, give some away.

“ what are you prepared to change to make it better?” – from Homer’s book, The Odyssey

Five questions for implementing a secure base in the above areas.

  1. Take a long hard look internally at yourself. Am I the kind of person I’d like the other person to be? The only person you can change is yourself.
  2. Do I love others more than myself? Is my focus always on me?
  3. Have I said these words to others today? “I love you” – “Thank you” – “You are welcome” – “What can I do for you today?” Simple words make an enormous impact!
  4. Practice gratitude for what you have. Eliminate lust for things. Control spending
  5. Pray more. Give the first part of your day to the scriptures. Pray out loud with your spouse or find a friend to pray over the phone with you.

You surely will need the wisdom to make the choices which will make you. The best starting point is the scriptures. Don’t hesitate, do not delay for surely God will answer the prayer of the one who asks Him.

If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking. James 1:5 

Kiwihug – Unsplash

Something we can all agree on is the following:

Change is inevitable, so why not be the one in charge of making the difference you want it to become?

It is your choice.

You become the end product of the choices you make. I encourage you to secure your base which will lead to more of life’s pleasures.

How is your journey going at the beginning of this year? Tell me about it. Leave a comment and be sure to sign up to continue receiving my posts.

Thank you,

Richard

Be sure to subscribe to wheelsaroundtown.com in the subscription form, that way you will not miss any of my posts. Please leave a comment or suggestion in the comment box. I want to hear your questions about making a firm foundation from which to live our lives. Your input is valuable to me. 

 

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Ready, Set, Go in twenty-eighteen

Ready, Set, Go in Twenty-eighteen

Nicolas-tissot Unsplash

Are you ready for the new year? Have you set your sights on improvement in specific areas? Will you go into this new year with renewed vigor.” Twenty-eighteen is now! What will you do differently in twenty-eighteen?

I know what you’re thinking.

Twenty-eighteen is going to be the year, right! We will make positive choices. Success will be ours. Things will improve.

But how will this happen?

Let me break this down for you. These three words just might be the springboard for a better reality this year.

Ready – Set -Go

Read on to pick up insights on how these three words can make the difference you desire to make in twenty-eighteen.

quino-al Unspash

  1. Ready. Being prepared is the first item for success.

Let me tell you a little story from my childhood. On school mornings at the break of dawn, I’d throw back the covers, run down the steps to the kitchen for breakfast. My mother would say; “go ‘red-up’ your room, then you can have breakfast”. (‘Red-up’ is a local saying here in Lancaster County, meaning, make your bed, tidy up your room.), You see, some things have to be finished before we go forward. Here’s the point.  Unfinished “business” lingering from 2017 should be put in good order.

  1. Set. Here’s the scoop. Your priorities need to be set when planning for a successful year. What is the most important item for you to accomplish this year? Set your prime concern to be honest in all your dealings, to be faithful to God, your spouse, your friends and to work each day as you would for the improvement. These are essential issues to set you on attaining new highs for 2018.

    Have you ever experienced a defining moment in your life? Well, I did.

I’ll give you one personal insight on when I set my priorities straight. February 1968, this was at my lowest point in my life. My thought on that day was, I had lost everything that mattered to me. There I stood by my mother’s grave, not to talk to her but to God. I chose to follow God where He wanted me to go. The place of the dead became my turning point for a gratifying life.

  1. Go. Are you sure the past is past! Does your history keep nagging you, holding you in its clutches? 

Keep reading because I have great news for you.

The Apostle Paul put it this way in the book of Philippians:

“…but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on to reach…”

Read on for the crucial part of your ‘GO.’ 

 One thing we all have is our ‘past.’

The apostle Paul didn’t let his past dictate his present nor his future. Obliviously, Paul did not forget what he was in the past because he wrote to us about it. BUT, he put the past behind him and saw a better future ahead of him.

In my personal story, I told you how I committed to God, did I always do the right thing? Of course not, many times I failed. When I did, I confessed my wrong and moved on.

Here’s the excellent news.

The past is not a prophet! It is only a teacher.

We learn from our past while releasing its grip on the present. Your history is the one thing you cannot change, let it go. You hold in your grasp this day, take it and press on to a brighter future.

Happy New Year

READY, SET, GO!  This will be the most incredible year, 2018!

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Is your life defined by what you do?

Is your life defined by what you do?

The thin line between who we are and what we do.

Harry* and I worked side by side for over 15 years, and then the factory closed sending us into the world of unemployment. Years later I met Harry while waiting in my eye doctor’s office. He was still distraught about the factory closing. We talked about the years working side-by-side until my appointment, I never saw him again. Months later I read that he had taken his own life. Of course, there could be other circumstances surrounding his tragic choice, but his loss of a job had demoralized him. Could it be that what he did was more important to him than who he was? (*not his real name)

“If you are what you do when you don’t, you aren’t.” William J. Byron in Finding Work Without Losing Heart.

Unsplash-john t

Are you defined by what you do, or defined by the person you are? 

Do not buy into the idea that what you do is of greater importance than who you are!

When I think of these two people my mind focuses more on who they are than on what they did:

Mother Teresa – She exhibited a heart of compassion.

Billie Graham – He defines integrity.

When I’m in a social gathering, I notice that when men initially meet each other the first question after getting each other’s names is; “what do you do for a living?” After that is defined, men can go on to favorite sport’s teams, politics, who they know, then maybe one will venture to ask; how’s your family?” Men peg each other first by what they do.

The question remains, not how do others define you but how do you view yourself?

We define ourselves more by our ‘NO’ than by our ‘YES’ in life.

In describing the life, you want to live, to what have you already said no?

I have said no to drinking acholic beverages, no to watching pornography, no to spending money foolishly, and a list of other things. In making these decisions, I have provided a boundary around my lifestyle giving me complete freedom to live a happy, fulfilled life.

It defines who I am to myself. I have peace of mind by saying no to a few things rather than yes to anything.

“A man’s heart is what he is.” R. B. Kuiper
“For as he thinks in his heart, so is he…” Proverbs 23:7a

Some retirees have the problem since no longer what they do matters much. Don’t let that be you.

Whatever age you may be, you can define yourself by being the person you attain to be. Not what others think of you.

Being thankful for ‘who’ I am.

Richard

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(header image by; Unsplash – Mohammad Alizade)

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What three issues I deal with in retirement?

Addressing three issues, I deal with in my retirement years.

First off, I look at my life as a  book of having many chapters. When I finish one chapter of a book, I do not throw the book away, no, I turn the page revealing a new episode. So it is in life. Previous chapters record my history. A new chapter opens for me to experience. My life book purposely omits an index, and yours also does. I can address my past and current life’s successes and failures but it is not possible to index future events which will complete my life’s book.

Here are 3, of the many, issues I’m addressing in retirement.

Unsplash-Ben White

Number one: Reality!

Am I secure in my present state? Do I have an ongoing internal discussion with myself as to a personal truth? When I survey my Christian faith, is it vibrant? Is my physical body in the best of health? Am I satisfied with the state of my relationships, with my spouse, my children, my siblings and my friends? If I do not face my reality, it will slam me in my face someday.

John Townsend, in his book, ‘Leadership Beyond Reason,’  makes this statement:

“Reality happens, and it always wins.”  

Consider this;

Face reality as it is, not as you, [I], wish it to be.” Peter Koestenbaum

Number two: Recognition!

I’m not talking about me gaining recognition.

Am I living with a sense of unending gratitude for what I have and for those who have poured into my life?

Does my behavior exhibit a genuine sense of gratitude?

Do I work on being a kind person?

I want to recognize the successes of others and grieve with their losses equally.  

“The more you express gratitude for what you have the more you will have to express gratitude for.“  – Zig Ziglar

Number three: Respect!

Am I worthy of the respect given me?

Lately, what have I done that is deserving of respect?

Do I willingly offer verbal admiration to family members and friends for their achievements? 

I’m sure I can give more ‘pats on the back’ for jobs well done.

The light in my soul shines brightest when I’m fully engaged in the present.

When I take the time to consider these three, then my steps are made secure.

  1. reality
  2. recognition 
  3. respect 

 

Do you need more wisdom for your journey into and through retirement? Remembering these scriptures will help.

If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking. (James 1:5 NLT)

He grants a treasure of common sense to the honest. He is a shield to those who walk with integrity. (Proverbs 2:7 NLT)

I welcome your comments.

Let me know what you think about this subject.

I always enjoy your comments.

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Thanks, Richard

 

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Do We Ever Get To Go HOME?

Do we ever get to go HOME?

Home is more a time, rather than a place, I think.

Memories of the past

We cannot repeat the past.

You can never step into a river the same place you did before, simply because the water in the river keeps flowing.

Time indeed keeps marching on.

Where do we go; ‘home’?

The clock keeps ticking.

Minutes and seconds are irreplaceable. 

The years in our past are past.

As much as we try to rewrite history, the truth in history remains permanently etched in place.

Our past can haunt us or it can spur us to change.

We never become unhinged from the moments of our past. It is the fabric that makes up our history, who we were.

How we allow it to handle us, is what matters.

It has been said that a person’s history gives a good indication of a person’s future direction. Is this true? I think but not always!

Going “home again”

Chases up the memories of both the good times and not so good times in our past.

Brings to mind some moments that should remain buried. So are their regrets?

Regrets,

Yes, I have many.

What do we do with regrets?

Do we let them hang around our necks pulling us down into depression?

Can we “flip” them off as insignificant?

What is the purpose of regrets? 

Maybe it is a sign of a healthy mental attitude to harbor regrets.

Harboring regrets

Photo by Val Vesa on Unsplash

Brings to mind a flotilla of boats sitting quietly in the water waiting for someone to start their engines.       

Every now and then I “start the engine ” on one of my regrets.

Not good! 

The moments I regret are in my past and I do not have it in my power to change my past.

So, I have to let go of my regrets. Learn from them, never repeat doing what I have regretted.

Regrets have become part of the fabric of my past,

unfortunately, sown into my history, with the purpose of influencing me to make better choices going forward.

Do we ever get to go home again?

Yes!

Memories build the home we visit.

Home is a moment or moments in time, captured in pictures, etched in our memories but unavailable in the present.

So I make the most of this present time since this time will fill my memories in the future.

“…forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead” Phil. 3:13b

What are your fondest memories?

Do you ‘harbor’ regrets? Why?

Please leave a comment, let’s have a discussion.

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Wheels Around Town

Richard