Tag: choices

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For better family conversations, do this

For better family conversations, do this even though siblings are not all on the same page. Get the family together for breakfast! 

Family breakfasts are one way, not the only way of how to have better family conversations.

Being on the same page is not the point, family ties matter more. 

For better family conversations the Armstrong’s took this approach.

Read on.

What makes excellent family time possible? Sibling synergy is helpful for this to happen. Here is my definition. It is the combined effort of two or more of us to produce something more significant in relationships than anyone of us could accomplish alone.

The back story of Armstrong’s monthly breakfast.

In 1989 my father died. The house got sold, and we seven siblings had no point of reference to assemble as a family. Our mother had passed away in 1965.

My father’s passing, although expected was a sad day for my family. In the sadness of that time, my brother, Joe proposed a tradition that would hold our family together. Joe, said since we have lost our central meeting place lets begin meeting on the first Saturday of each month for breakfast at a local restaurant. My brother, Joe and his wife recently moved to a retirement community in MA and is no longer able to meet with us here in Lancaster County, PA. But our family owes a debt of gratitude to Joe for putting our family on the correct path 30 years ago, thank you, brother Joe.

One of my favorite quotes from President Ronald Reagan.

“The family has always been the cornerstone of American society. Our families nurture, preserve, and pass on to each succeeding generation the values we share and cherish, values that are the foundation for our freedoms. In the family, we learn our first lessons of God and man, love and discipline, rights and responsibilities, human dignity and human frailty.”

Here it is, for better family conversations, do this – Having our breakfasts together is making better family conversations possible.

Continue reading; make no mistake, since we are not the perfect family, yet here is what we are doing. For better family conversations, do this, and ‘this is‘ what we are doing.

Since 1989 we have had breakfast together as a family, only missing one or two Saturdays due to weather conditions. At first, all seven of us and our spouses met, later joined by nephews, nieces and other family members. Over these years 3 of our brothers have passed away. We were together through the grieving times.

Good breakfast food and lots of talk around the table opens doors for fulfilling conversation.

Particular family time has built a cohesiveness to our family. Family time together does not mean we all agree on things, spiritually, politically, or how each of us raised our families. It has been an unspoken rule; we have never discussed the disappointments, misfortunes or miss-steps each family has experienced.
Most, if not all of us are born again Christians which points us in a positive, life-giving direction in discussions.

The Armstrong Breakfast

How to have better family conversations, do this.

Organizing a monthly breakfast might be difficult, but I assure you, the effort will be worth it. Let’s get together for breakfast. Eating together spurs good conversations, always has and always will.

As Nike says, ‘Just do it!’

Every first Saturday is a ‘hallmark day’ for us as a family. It continues to be a significant time bonding us together.

“God places the lonely in families; he sets the prisoners free and gives them joy. But he makes the rebellious live in a sun-scorched land.” Psalms 68:6

For more insight on this read my post, ‘Do we ever get to go home again’ here

Why not start a tradition in your family. If your family is scattered around the globe, be creative, find a way to stay connected with your siblings.

What keeps your family connected?

Just think about this; our lives pass too soon, so family ties do matter.

I’d love to receive your comments, questions or insights you have on this post. Please comment in the comment box provided.

I’d appreciate you passing this post on to others in your groups or on your social media pages.

Thank you,

Richard Armstrong

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Four Talking Tips From A Hitch-hiker

Everyone has a story to tell.

Are we listening?

Today, let’s look at four talking tips from a hitch-hiker. It is an inspiring story happening over 2,000 years ago. Modern-day hitch-hikers use Uber or Lyft to get around town. In the few minutes, people are in my car I sometimes get to hear bits & pieces of their history. Usually, I greet them with; “good morning, how are you today”? Responses surprise me sometimes! “terrible”, “great”, “silence”. At times I hear a history of their last year in my 7-minute drive. Everyone has a story to tell, and most would like someone to listen.

My definition of a hitch-hiker is a person walking along a road and he or she is invited to enter a vehicle to go for a ride.
The man in this story fits my description.

There is usually a story within a story which is true in this narrative.

Look, for the four talking tips from a hitch-hiker in this scripture.

Philip, one of the apostles of Christ, could be the first hitch-hiker recorded in history.

Utsav-shah – Unsplash
It is an interesting story, here is just a snippet of the story found in the Bible’s book of Acts:
The Holy Spirit said to Philip, “Go over and walk along beside the carriage.”
Philip ran over and heard the man reading from the prophet Isaiah. Philip asked, “Do you understand what you are reading?”
The man replied, “How can I unless someone instructs me?” And he urged Philip to come up into the carriage and sit with him. – The eunuch asked Philip, “Tell me, was the prophet talking about himself or someone else?” So beginning with this same Scripture, Philip told him the Good News about Jesus. Acts 8:29-31 & 34, 35

Now, I would not even assume to say that the Apostle Phillip was trying to hitch a ride since he was explicitly told to “go over and walk beside the carriage” by the Holy Spirit.  Aside from the beautiful spiritual transformation of the Ethiopian man, we can grasp insight on how to make the most of these chance meetings with people.

This story of Phillip changed the tale of a man and forever is inscribed in the Book for us to read today.

Stick with me here since I have discovered some good insight on how to kick up our conversations a notch.

Here are my four talking tips from a hitch-hiker for meaningful discussions with people, especially those we meet briefly.

  1. We have to make ourselves available to people. Phillip ‘ran over’ to the Ethiopian’s side of the road to be more accessible.
  2. Most people would like us to ask them to tell their story. “Do you understand what you are reading?” the Apostle said.
  3. We just might have to sit and listen to the person for some time. Phillip sat with the man in his carriage. 
  4. This last point is the key; It helps to begin with where they are at in their story. Aha! Phillip did this; “so beginning with this same scripture.”

“A suffering person does not need a lecture – he needs a listener.”– Billy Graham

“The word ‘listen’ contains the same letters as the word ‘silent.’” – Unknown

Summing it up on the qualities needed to impact people’s lives are these: Making ourselves available, asking good questions, taking time to sit with the person and giving input beginning with where the person is in their discussion concerning themselves. I think, Phillip, the hitch-hiker did his part well, don’t you? Now it is our turn.

Most of us know what I shared here but hopefully, it serves as a reminder of four qualities needed in the communication toolbox we use every day. Perhaps 2018 is the year to really communicate!

Did one or two of the four tips resonate with you and in what way?

Did I miss something that you would like to add?

Any questions on this post?

Please leave a comment, I’d like to hear from you.

Richard

 

    

 

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Surrounded By Storm Clouds of Defeat

Are most of your thoughts clouded by negative thinking?

Surrounded by storm clouds of defeat, is what this biblical Old Testament young man thought. When this servant of Elisha pulled back his tent door as the sun rose he saw they were surrounded by a large enemy army. “Oh, sir, what will we do now?” the young man cried to Elisha.“Don’t be afraid!” Elisha told him. “For there are more on our side than on theirs!” Then Elisha prayed, “O Lord, open his eyes and let him see!” The Lord opened the young man’s eyes, and when he looked up, he saw that the hillside around Elisha was filled with horses and chariots of fire. II Kings 6:14 – 17 

I have been through a few ‘gloom and doom’ days. In 2001 a heart attack seized my chest with severe tight threating pain. Was my life over? At the hospital, the surgeons placed two stents in my arteries and I was good to go. But, I must admit, at least for some moments gloom tried its best to grip my soul. However, my faith in God and my family surrounding me opened my eyes to a brighter future.

When surrounded by storm clouds of defeat, it is easy to fall prey to negative thinking patterns. 

The young servant in the biblical story saw they were surrounded by defeat, but the man of God saw defeat surrounded by victory. Three ‘takeaways’ we can deposit in our lives today from this biblical account. When surrounded by defeat, anxiety builds in our mind and gloom purveys our thoughts, instead let us sharpen our focus on these three insights from this story.

  1. We should always be open to the supernatural. God still cares about us today.
  2. When defeat circles our space, look for the rim of victory beyond the doubt clouding our mind.
  3. The enemy in this story was blinded to what God had in store for His prophet. First blinded spiritually, then later blinded physically. See beyond the negativity into God’s positive hand directing us to victory.

Additionally, let us keep hope alive, working towards our success. Read my post on hope here.

For some real encouragement in overcoming adversity, Read Bill’s blog at Unshakable Hope

Queen Victoria, the second longest reigning Queen of England said:

“We are not interested in the possibilities of defeat.”

Winston Churchill had this to say about defeat:

“There is only one answer to defeat and that is victory.”

The possibilities of overcoming storm clouds of defeat are tremendous when we focus on God’s word. Here are two of the many scriptures on overcoming defeat and negativity in our lives:

“I wait quietly before God, for my victory comes from Him.” Psalms 62:1

 “… despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us.” Romans 8:37

Are you surrounded by storm clouds of defeat?

Is your life driven by negative thoughts?

Take heart today, since God has given us eyes to see His victorious armies surrounding the enemies of defeat.

Blessings to you today,

Richard

I invite you to leave a comment, question or insights you have on this post in the comment section of this post. Thank you.

Victory photo: Jepheth Mast – Unsplash

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Three secrets to keeping hope alive

 

Three Secrets to keeping hope alive

Why is having hope so crucial to a healthy outlook on life?

ron-smith – Unsplash

Three secrets to keeping hope alive in my life are in my concluding eleven statements for a better life. These eleven statements I wrote several years ago to refocus my energies towards a better life for myself. Having an optimistic outlook on life requires us to invest in hope. Have you lost all expectation for a better tomorrow in your life?

I am an optimist by nature. Even though optimism is natural to me, I must hone it to a sharper edge to guide my steps.

My last three statements of the eleven contain the three secrets to keeping hope alive in me.

9.  Aspire to reach beyond what I think of as unreachable. Hope directs my ambition toward achieving something initially thought not possible. My aspirations have played out exceptionally in my life. Fran, my wife, and I have taught the word of God in over 14 nations of the world. We kept hope alive, and the improbable became a reality!

“Ah, but a man’s reach should exceed his grasp~or what’s a heaven for?” Robert Browning.

10. Achieve a secure and firm foundation in what I believe and know why I think my belief is real.  A daily Bible reading and prayer time will help me in making and keeping my belief system unshakable.

“The three great essentials to achieve anything worthwhile are, first, hard work; second, stick-to-itiveness; third, common sense.” – Thomas Edison

11.  Arrest my fears, subjugating my anxieties to the belief that God is more significant than all the complexities of life. Anxiety captured me with fear when I walked to the podium in India to present Bible truth to the assembled students. But the tension drained from me when I reminded myself that God had not given me a spirit of fear but of a sound mind to deliver my lesson on the first day of classes. Wow, God is good.

“The last of all human freedoms is the ability to choose one’s own attitude in any set of circumstances.” – Victor Frankl, Nazi Concentration Camp Survivor

Why is having hope so crucial to a healthy outlook on life? Here is why.

These three statements, 9, 10 and 11 have guided me to experiences beyond my expectations.

I’ll quickly explain, just keep reading.

Hope is, the expectation of something good happening in our life. In this life, without good health, we are sick; lacking money, we are broke; no friends, we are lonely; but without hope, we’rd done. Keeping hope alive in us brightens even the dreariest of days.

We read in Proverbs 13:12; Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a dream fulfilled is a tree of life. When we keep putting off reaching for something hoped for, it leads to heartbreak.

Here is the good news, when we reach beyond our present abilities it leads to fulfillment! 

To those having a personal relationship with Jesus, it gets even better.

“And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love.” Romans 5:5

“The measure of intelligence is the ability to change.”– Albert Einstein

I suppose we are all wise enough to make changes, am I correct on that?

Are you ready to build hope? Use my three secrets to keeping hope alive to guide you to unexpected heights in your life.

Thank you for reading. Leave a comment; I want to hear from you with observations, questions, and insights.

Be sure to sign up to keep receiving my posts.

Richard

 

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3 Life lessons for Emotional Stability

3 Life Lessons for Emotional Stability

Can greater emotional stability in your life be achieved?
My 3 life lessons for emotional stability brought a greater focus on how I interact with my spouse, family, and friends.

I’m sure most of us desire stronger relationships with others; correct?

Improving stronger bonds with others begins with how we control our emotions. These three steps towards emotional stability provided a path for me to a more composed response when in troubled waters. I am sure it can do the same for you. There is an assessment tool I have used and it is free which provides a good overview of the five factors pointing to better emotional stability. Click here for the free online assessment for insight into the makeup of your personality. I desire to be of a sound mind, able to face adverse circumstances with my dignity in check.
You can read my last post on this subject here.

 

This post is a continuation of the eleven statements I wrote several years ago to improve my outlook on life.

Read on for my 3 life lessons for emotional stability that I continue to work out in my life.

6. Alternatives; which means that I should always be open to other choices. I will make better decisions when I do my research on what choice I should make in any given situation. I should not pretend to ‘know it all’ but be open to counsel.
7. Adjust to my present stresses
. When I’m in a stressful situation I must evaluate my habits, my attitude, and my behaviors, perhaps the pressure I’m feeling is self-inflicted.
8. Analyze by putting in careful thought
 before taking action. I should question if my thought patterns are determined by my upbringing, and by my social connections? Part of analyzing my current position understands past relationships may not play an important role where I am today.

It is so important to realize our emotions can be governed by keeping an open mind to different choices. Choosing to recognize where my stress originates and knowing the current season of life I now am living.

“Two natures beat within my breast. The one is foul; the one is blessed. The one I love, the one I hate. The one I feed will dominate.” Anonymous

john-mark-kuznietsov- Unsplash

The above quote and the scripture works in harmony to keep my emotions in check.
“A fool vents all his feelings, But a wise man holds them back.” (Proverbs 29:11 NKJV)

My quest continues for emotional stability even in adverse situations. How about you?

Did you find this article helpful? Please leave a comment in the comment box provided below.

Be sure to give your name and e-mail address in the opt-in box. That way you will not miss my next post.

Thank you,

Richard

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Two Statements for Lifestyle Improvement

Two statements for lifestyle improvement

Colin Maynard – Unsplash

I do not want to keep living on circle street by just going round and round in circles. I’m sure, most of us want to plot a more sure road toward fulfillment.

Am I correct on that?

You see I wanted to move forward with my life, having more purpose for growth continues to be my goal. Several years ago I developed a list of eleven statements making me more intentional in pursuit of a life with meaning. Herewith I’m detailing two more of my assertions for lifestyle improvement.

In the last post, I wrote about my ‘three questions for lifestyle improvement,’ of my eleven statements, the first three were the three prerequisites prompting me into action.You can check out the first three of my eleven here.

To a person, we want to stop going in circles, I believe, forever ending up the same place we started, but to go forward is our goal in life. Am I correct in this assumption? These two statements I’m detailing here are about my journey for improvement. Just maybe opening up my walk will help you who read this to make changes needed for your development.

I call these two statements for lifestyle improvement:  The Influencers

These are two of my original eleven statements I penned for my life to get off of “circle street.”

I look at these two statements for lifestyle improvement as having the most influence on improving my distinctive personality. These two declarations are where I bring stability to my character and strength to my walk as a Christian man.

4. Apprehend a passion for life.

Apprehended passion lifts my level of enthusiasm for life. I must stop the drifting! Replace it with an intentional, deliberate plan to reach new goals. The key word is; intentional! Pastor David Jeremiah said; “no one drifts towards holiness.” I agree whole heartily, but this statement is correct in my personal life as well. If I want to become a better person, I must stop the drift, and get intentional about what I desire to accomplish with my life. I must lift the lid on my passion and discover what causes me to continue to act the way I do. That is not an easy project to pursue, but pursue it I must. 

Ben White – Unsplash

5. Assure others of my trust.

Assure trust with the reliability of actions that line up with my words. What builds trust is stable relationships. The higher the confidence, the more engaged the connection. Coner Neill, a blogger I follow, wrote an interesting post on building trust.  The equation he sights is Trust = Credibility – Reliability – Intimacy over Self-orientation. Take a look at it here.

My trust I have built with others is a highly valued asset. Therefore I must guard it appropriately.

I have made my choice always to be a learner. I take my cue from this Bible verse and accompanying quote.

A wise man will hear and increase learning, And a man of understanding will attain wise counsel, (Proverbs 1:5 NKJV)

“The future belongs to the learners—not the knowers.” – Eric Hoffer

My aim with disclosing the two above statements is to add value to your life. I wrote my eleven statements for me because I needed to evaluate where I was and where I would receive the most satisfaction for my life moving forward.

What change do you need to make in your life for improvement? Has my material interested you in attaining a more fulfilled lifestyle?

I invite you to write a comment or a question in the comment box. Don’t forget to sign up to continue receiving my posts.

Thank you,

Richard