Tag: Change

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For better family conversations, do this

For better family conversations, do this even though siblings are not all on the same page. Get the family together for breakfast! 

Family breakfasts are one way, not the only way of how to have better family conversations.

Being on the same page is not the point, family ties matter more. 

For better family conversations the Armstrong’s took this approach.

Read on.

What makes excellent family time possible? Sibling synergy is helpful for this to happen. Here is my definition. It is the combined effort of two or more of us to produce something more significant in relationships than anyone of us could accomplish alone.

The back story of Armstrong’s monthly breakfast.

In 1989 my father died. The house got sold, and we seven siblings had no point of reference to assemble as a family. Our mother had passed away in 1965.

My father’s passing, although expected was a sad day for my family. In the sadness of that time, my brother, Joe proposed a tradition that would hold our family together. Joe, said since we have lost our central meeting place lets begin meeting on the first Saturday of each month for breakfast at a local restaurant. My brother, Joe and his wife recently moved to a retirement community in MA and is no longer able to meet with us here in Lancaster County, PA. But our family owes a debt of gratitude to Joe for putting our family on the correct path 30 years ago, thank you, brother Joe.

One of my favorite quotes from President Ronald Reagan.

“The family has always been the cornerstone of American society. Our families nurture, preserve, and pass on to each succeeding generation the values we share and cherish, values that are the foundation for our freedoms. In the family, we learn our first lessons of God and man, love and discipline, rights and responsibilities, human dignity and human frailty.”

Here it is, for better family conversations, do this – Having our breakfasts together is making better family conversations possible.

Continue reading; make no mistake, since we are not the perfect family, yet here is what we are doing. For better family conversations, do this, and ‘this is‘ what we are doing.

Since 1989 we have had breakfast together as a family, only missing one or two Saturdays due to weather conditions. At first, all seven of us and our spouses met, later joined by nephews, nieces and other family members. Over these years 3 of our brothers have passed away. We were together through the grieving times.

Good breakfast food and lots of talk around the table opens doors for fulfilling conversation.

Particular family time has built a cohesiveness to our family. Family time together does not mean we all agree on things, spiritually, politically, or how each of us raised our families. It has been an unspoken rule; we have never discussed the disappointments, misfortunes or miss-steps each family has experienced.
Most, if not all of us are born again Christians which points us in a positive, life-giving direction in discussions.

The Armstrong Breakfast

How to have better family conversations, do this.

Organizing a monthly breakfast might be difficult, but I assure you, the effort will be worth it. Let’s get together for breakfast. Eating together spurs good conversations, always has and always will.

As Nike says, ‘Just do it!’

Every first Saturday is a ‘hallmark day’ for us as a family. It continues to be a significant time bonding us together.

“God places the lonely in families; he sets the prisoners free and gives them joy. But he makes the rebellious live in a sun-scorched land.” Psalms 68:6

For more insight on this read my post, ‘Do we ever get to go home again’ here

Why not start a tradition in your family. If your family is scattered around the globe, be creative, find a way to stay connected with your siblings.

What keeps your family connected?

Just think about this; our lives pass too soon, so family ties do matter.

I’d love to receive your comments, questions or insights you have on this post. Please comment in the comment box provided.

I’d appreciate you passing this post on to others in your groups or on your social media pages.

Thank you,

Richard Armstrong

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Four Talking Tips From A Hitch-hiker

Everyone has a story to tell.

Are we listening?

Today, let’s look at four talking tips from a hitch-hiker. It is an inspiring story happening over 2,000 years ago. Modern-day hitch-hikers use Uber or Lyft to get around town. In the few minutes, people are in my car I sometimes get to hear bits & pieces of their history. Usually, I greet them with; “good morning, how are you today”? Responses surprise me sometimes! “terrible”, “great”, “silence”. At times I hear a history of their last year in my 7-minute drive. Everyone has a story to tell, and most would like someone to listen.

My definition of a hitch-hiker is a person walking along a road and he or she is invited to enter a vehicle to go for a ride.
The man in this story fits my description.

There is usually a story within a story which is true in this narrative.

Look, for the four talking tips from a hitch-hiker in this scripture.

Philip, one of the apostles of Christ, could be the first hitch-hiker recorded in history.

Utsav-shah – Unsplash
It is an interesting story, here is just a snippet of the story found in the Bible’s book of Acts:
The Holy Spirit said to Philip, “Go over and walk along beside the carriage.”
Philip ran over and heard the man reading from the prophet Isaiah. Philip asked, “Do you understand what you are reading?”
The man replied, “How can I unless someone instructs me?” And he urged Philip to come up into the carriage and sit with him. – The eunuch asked Philip, “Tell me, was the prophet talking about himself or someone else?” So beginning with this same Scripture, Philip told him the Good News about Jesus. Acts 8:29-31 & 34, 35

Now, I would not even assume to say that the Apostle Phillip was trying to hitch a ride since he was explicitly told to “go over and walk beside the carriage” by the Holy Spirit.  Aside from the beautiful spiritual transformation of the Ethiopian man, we can grasp insight on how to make the most of these chance meetings with people.

This story of Phillip changed the tale of a man and forever is inscribed in the Book for us to read today.

Stick with me here since I have discovered some good insight on how to kick up our conversations a notch.

Here are my four talking tips from a hitch-hiker for meaningful discussions with people, especially those we meet briefly.

  1. We have to make ourselves available to people. Phillip ‘ran over’ to the Ethiopian’s side of the road to be more accessible.
  2. Most people would like us to ask them to tell their story. “Do you understand what you are reading?” the Apostle said.
  3. We just might have to sit and listen to the person for some time. Phillip sat with the man in his carriage. 
  4. This last point is the key; It helps to begin with where they are at in their story. Aha! Phillip did this; “so beginning with this same scripture.”

“A suffering person does not need a lecture – he needs a listener.”– Billy Graham

“The word ‘listen’ contains the same letters as the word ‘silent.’” – Unknown

Summing it up on the qualities needed to impact people’s lives are these: Making ourselves available, asking good questions, taking time to sit with the person and giving input beginning with where the person is in their discussion concerning themselves. I think, Phillip, the hitch-hiker did his part well, don’t you? Now it is our turn.

Most of us know what I shared here but hopefully, it serves as a reminder of four qualities needed in the communication toolbox we use every day. Perhaps 2018 is the year to really communicate!

Did one or two of the four tips resonate with you and in what way?

Did I miss something that you would like to add?

Any questions on this post?

Please leave a comment, I’d like to hear from you.

Richard

 

    

 

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Three secrets to keeping hope alive

 

Three Secrets to keeping hope alive

Why is having hope so crucial to a healthy outlook on life?

ron-smith – Unsplash

Three secrets to keeping hope alive in my life are in my concluding eleven statements for a better life. These eleven statements I wrote several years ago to refocus my energies towards a better life for myself. Having an optimistic outlook on life requires us to invest in hope. Have you lost all expectation for a better tomorrow in your life?

I am an optimist by nature. Even though optimism is natural to me, I must hone it to a sharper edge to guide my steps.

My last three statements of the eleven contain the three secrets to keeping hope alive in me.

9.  Aspire to reach beyond what I think of as unreachable. Hope directs my ambition toward achieving something initially thought not possible. My aspirations have played out exceptionally in my life. Fran, my wife, and I have taught the word of God in over 14 nations of the world. We kept hope alive, and the improbable became a reality!

“Ah, but a man’s reach should exceed his grasp~or what’s a heaven for?” Robert Browning.

10. Achieve a secure and firm foundation in what I believe and know why I think my belief is real.  A daily Bible reading and prayer time will help me in making and keeping my belief system unshakable.

“The three great essentials to achieve anything worthwhile are, first, hard work; second, stick-to-itiveness; third, common sense.” – Thomas Edison

11.  Arrest my fears, subjugating my anxieties to the belief that God is more significant than all the complexities of life. Anxiety captured me with fear when I walked to the podium in India to present Bible truth to the assembled students. But the tension drained from me when I reminded myself that God had not given me a spirit of fear but of a sound mind to deliver my lesson on the first day of classes. Wow, God is good.

“The last of all human freedoms is the ability to choose one’s own attitude in any set of circumstances.” – Victor Frankl, Nazi Concentration Camp Survivor

Why is having hope so crucial to a healthy outlook on life? Here is why.

These three statements, 9, 10 and 11 have guided me to experiences beyond my expectations.

I’ll quickly explain, just keep reading.

Hope is, the expectation of something good happening in our life. In this life, without good health, we are sick; lacking money, we are broke; no friends, we are lonely; but without hope, we’rd done. Keeping hope alive in us brightens even the dreariest of days.

We read in Proverbs 13:12; Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a dream fulfilled is a tree of life. When we keep putting off reaching for something hoped for, it leads to heartbreak.

Here is the good news, when we reach beyond our present abilities it leads to fulfillment! 

To those having a personal relationship with Jesus, it gets even better.

“And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love.” Romans 5:5

“The measure of intelligence is the ability to change.”– Albert Einstein

I suppose we are all wise enough to make changes, am I correct on that?

Are you ready to build hope? Use my three secrets to keeping hope alive to guide you to unexpected heights in your life.

Thank you for reading. Leave a comment; I want to hear from you with observations, questions, and insights.

Be sure to sign up to keep receiving my posts.

Richard

 

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Two Statements for Lifestyle Improvement

Two statements for lifestyle improvement

Colin Maynard – Unsplash

I do not want to keep living on circle street by just going round and round in circles. I’m sure, most of us want to plot a more sure road toward fulfillment.

Am I correct on that?

You see I wanted to move forward with my life, having more purpose for growth continues to be my goal. Several years ago I developed a list of eleven statements making me more intentional in pursuit of a life with meaning. Herewith I’m detailing two more of my assertions for lifestyle improvement.

In the last post, I wrote about my ‘three questions for lifestyle improvement,’ of my eleven statements, the first three were the three prerequisites prompting me into action.You can check out the first three of my eleven here.

To a person, we want to stop going in circles, I believe, forever ending up the same place we started, but to go forward is our goal in life. Am I correct in this assumption? These two statements I’m detailing here are about my journey for improvement. Just maybe opening up my walk will help you who read this to make changes needed for your development.

I call these two statements for lifestyle improvement:  The Influencers

These are two of my original eleven statements I penned for my life to get off of “circle street.”

I look at these two statements for lifestyle improvement as having the most influence on improving my distinctive personality. These two declarations are where I bring stability to my character and strength to my walk as a Christian man.

4. Apprehend a passion for life.

Apprehended passion lifts my level of enthusiasm for life. I must stop the drifting! Replace it with an intentional, deliberate plan to reach new goals. The key word is; intentional! Pastor David Jeremiah said; “no one drifts towards holiness.” I agree whole heartily, but this statement is correct in my personal life as well. If I want to become a better person, I must stop the drift, and get intentional about what I desire to accomplish with my life. I must lift the lid on my passion and discover what causes me to continue to act the way I do. That is not an easy project to pursue, but pursue it I must. 

Ben White – Unsplash

5. Assure others of my trust.

Assure trust with the reliability of actions that line up with my words. What builds trust is stable relationships. The higher the confidence, the more engaged the connection. Coner Neill, a blogger I follow, wrote an interesting post on building trust.  The equation he sights is Trust = Credibility – Reliability – Intimacy over Self-orientation. Take a look at it here.

My trust I have built with others is a highly valued asset. Therefore I must guard it appropriately.

I have made my choice always to be a learner. I take my cue from this Bible verse and accompanying quote.

A wise man will hear and increase learning, And a man of understanding will attain wise counsel, (Proverbs 1:5 NKJV)

“The future belongs to the learners—not the knowers.” – Eric Hoffer

My aim with disclosing the two above statements is to add value to your life. I wrote my eleven statements for me because I needed to evaluate where I was and where I would receive the most satisfaction for my life moving forward.

What change do you need to make in your life for improvement? Has my material interested you in attaining a more fulfilled lifestyle?

I invite you to write a comment or a question in the comment box. Don’t forget to sign up to continue receiving my posts.

Thank you,

Richard

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Three questions for Lifestyle improvement

 Three decisions I made for a better life.

We all want to live better. 

Am I correct in that assumption?

However, the thinking that occupies our mind is we cannot let go of the past. It is possible to release ourselves from the grip our history has on us. I looked at these three questions for lifestyle improvement, and I want you to know them. Making three choices for a positive turnaround freed me from my past mistakes. However, it continues as an intentional persistence on my part, but the journey produced a tremendously rewarding future. This life journey going from recent missteps into the present and to a brighter future was and is a spiritual and mental challenge for me. When I know what to do and do not do what I should do it puts me in a losing situation.

“Remember, it is sin to know what you ought to do and then not do it.’ James 4:17

I’m sure we all desire to go from drifting through life to a more fulfilling lifestyle, am I right on that?

Toa Heftibe – Unsplash

Then, stay with me on this, keep reading.

Three questions for Lifestyle improvement

A couple of years ago I wrote out eleven choices I wanted to incorporate into my life for growth. I made this list for myself because it is in these eleven areas I needed the most help. Today I am sharing the first three decisions I made for a better life. To know more about me, click here.

 “When you’re through changing, you’re through.”  Bruce Barth
I do not want to be through at this stage of my life, but a continual work in progress!

A look at the first three of my eleven decisions I made to improve my life.

 

1. Admit my mistakes

2. Accept reality as my friend     

Nathan Lemon – Unsplash

3. Acquire margin in my life

Here is more insight on each of my three questions for lifestyle improvement 

1.  Admit mistakes and correct as soon as reasonable. If not admitted, they will tie me to my past. I must take time to understand why I made mistakes, but I do not continue to live there. Not admitting errors might be a ‘man thing’ but should not be my excuse for admitting I am wrong.

2.  Accept reality as my friend. The sooner I realize where I am at this stage of life, the quicker my problem will be resolved.

“Face reality as it is, not as you wish it to be.” Peter Koestenbaum

3.  Acquiring margin in my life breathes freshness into each day. A book without margins is unreadable, so my existence without margin is unlivable. The margin I need is quiet time alone, money in the bank, time spent with my family and friends. There is a tendency to crowd my schedule with appointments and meetings, but I need some alone time. I’m not talking about ‘loneliness,’ no this is not idle time, but something very different and necessary for me to develop margin in my life. In Richard J. Foster’s book, ‘Celebration of Discipline,’ he writes; “Loneliness is inner emptiness, solitude in inner fulfillment.” It will be necessary for me to withdraw a few times a year to experience an inner peace that only solitude can deliver. 

My hope for anyone reading this is for you to enhance your insights about lifestyle improvements by me sharing the three questions I faced on my journey in life. I will share more from my eleven questions in posts to come.

Write a comment on this post. I’d love to hear from you. What have you discovered about moving into a different season of life? Write your questions; this will help me in determining future posts. Please sign up to keep receiving these posts. I’ll appreciate that very much.

Thank you,

Richard

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Choices made, make us!

Choices made, make us!

Life’s pleasures take second place behind securing your base. 

Do you have a secure foundation for your life, family, and finances? Remember, choices made, make us. Even small seemingly insignificant decisions eventually make us who we become in life. It is essential to secure our base; remember, choices made, make us.

Are you teetering on the brink of disaster in social relations, financial solvency, and marriage?

Mark Duffel – Unsplash

You must be wondering, what do I need to do.

Here’s the simple answer.

Focus on securing your base first. Do the necessary action first in all these areas to ensure your success.

What is the most crucial part of building a successful marriage? A successful single lifestyle? To make positive relationships with your family? Begin meeting your financial goals?

The choices we make, even the little ones, mold our future.

What do I mean by securing your base in all these areas?

‘Made choices, make us’, may be simple to understand but challenging to implement.

Stay with me here.

I’ll list a few of the simple to understand parts first; then I will briefly describe tools of implementation.

These four areas demand your attention for securing your base.

  • Marriage; consider words of affirmation, use politeness instead of abruptness in conversations.
  • Single lifestyle; practice thankfulness, focus on good hygiene, affirm friends often.
  • Family relationships; support ambitions of family members and congratulate each one for their achievements, Be kind to one another.
  • Meeting financial goals; spend less than you make, always save a portion of your weekly income, give some away.

“ what are you prepared to change to make it better?” – from Homer’s book, The Odyssey

Five questions for implementing a secure base in the above areas.

  1. Take a long hard look internally at yourself. Am I the kind of person I’d like the other person to be? The only person you can change is yourself.
  2. Do I love others more than myself? Is my focus always on me?
  3. Have I said these words to others today? “I love you” – “Thank you” – “You are welcome” – “What can I do for you today?” Simple words make an enormous impact!
  4. Practice gratitude for what you have. Eliminate lust for things. Control spending
  5. Pray more. Give the first part of your day to the scriptures. Pray out loud with your spouse or find a friend to pray over the phone with you.

You surely will need the wisdom to make the choices which will make you. The best starting point is the scriptures. Don’t hesitate, do not delay for surely God will answer the prayer of the one who asks Him.

If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking. James 1:5 

Kiwihug – Unsplash

Something we can all agree on is the following:

Change is inevitable, so why not be the one in charge of making the difference you want it to become?

It is your choice.

You become the end product of the choices you make. I encourage you to secure your base which will lead to more of life’s pleasures.

How is your journey going at the beginning of this year? Tell me about it. Leave a comment and be sure to sign up to continue receiving my posts.

Thank you,

Richard

Be sure to subscribe to wheelsaroundtown.com in the subscription form, that way you will not miss any of my posts. Please leave a comment or suggestion in the comment box. I want to hear your questions about making a firm foundation from which to live our lives. Your input is valuable to me.