How to Make a Successful Transition
Focus on what to do next.
Not all transitions are dramatic.
Sometimes change is expected but not welcomed. However when the end comes you’re adrift on a sea of uncertainty.
Stepping through the kitchen door after working the midnight shift I noticed the kitchen countertops were bare. In the eerie stillness, I knew she had left. The sun was shining but darkness flooded my soul. I had entered the Trilight Zone of transition. My eyes gazed into an uncertain future.
How will you navigate change?
One day your life is humming right along, then kaput the bottom drops out. At times you got an inkling, a hint, somethings not right. But you ignored it, push it aside, then reality hit you in the face. Boom. Now what?
I don’t wish it on you but life has a habit of throwing curves. A divorce, job loss, spouse or relative dies unexpectedly or your house burns down.
Now you are in a transition, what you thought was secure is not.
Five points will help you through this difficult time.
I know it is not easy for you, but I’ve been there, done that, and came out victorious on the other side. The victorious part I’ll get to later.
These five points are not out of a book. These are from my real-life experience.
Five Significant Choices When You Are In A Transition.
- Refocus-analyze the complete picture.
Don’t dwell on what went wrong. Instead, focus on what to do next. Spend your energies on moving forward toward finding the answer. Denis Waitley
At this time in your life, everything is out of focus.
My sister helped me with this. I called her and told her what happened. She drove to my house. I had all the blinds pulled down, the house was dark. She came in pulled all the blinds up, put a record on my record player; (Yes it was that long ago.) “Cheer up, Richard, it’s a new day!” Dwelling on the past was not helping me move into an uncertian future.
2. Realize-what you still have, not what you lost.
With the new day comes new strength and new thoughts. Eleanor Roosevelt
I still had my sisters and brothers and friends. I had a good job. Yes, you may have lossed a lot but whatever you have to cling to, now is the time to assess what remains.
3. Recognize-you cannot control the uncontrollable.
Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be. John Wooden
You cannot control others, they will do whatever it is they want to do. Release the business owner, when he wants to downsize he will. You’re fired, move on.
One of my favorite scriptures prodded me to move.
Even when I walk through the darkest valley, I will not be afraid, for you are close beside me. Your rod and your staff protect and comfort me. Psalms 23:4 (My emphisis)
The optimal word in Psalms 23 verse 4 is; ‘walk’. It’s an action verb. Through the transition, you will experience dark days. Throw the covers back, get out of bed and get moving. I mean that literally, a twenty-minute walk will clear the cobwebs from your mind.
4. Reduce-unnecessary stresses by learning to say ‘no.’
The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another. William James
Mr. James is spot on; we get to choose the thoughts we think. This is the time to minimize obligations. Learn to say, No. I wrote the word ‘no’ is a complete sentence.
5. Regain-your sense of humor
I’m talking here of a sense of humor, not hilarity. There is no amusement in a loss. Humor provides a needed sense of buoyancy to your life. In other words, humor allows you to keep your head above the water.
What do I mean by saying after a divorce I came out victorious?
Over fifty years ago I met Fran. In a few months, we will celebrate our fiftieth wedding anniversary. Hooray for us!
I have these five points on the back of my business card. The first letter of each word is ‘R’ which makes these points easy to remember. Even though they are difficult to practice, each word will hasten your recovery.
Jot these words in your notebook as a reminder.
Refocus — Realize — Recognize — Reduce — Regain.
